BECKETT IS THREE MONTHS

My baby is ALREADY three months! I hate how fast my newborns grow. I went through all his 0-3 month cloths to move out of the dresser and replace with the 3-6 month cloths tonight. I was definitely holding back tears. People keep asking me how it is to have a boy and I have answered that he's just a baby so no difference yet. Just recently I'm starting to feel a "different" connection with him than the girls. I am starting to really love all the little man cloths I get to dress him in. I love to talk to Rob about his future, the sports he will play and the personality we hope he has. I think he will be our last child so I am really soaking up every minute with him. He feels extra special to me. He also is the smiliest baby! He started smiling a little after two months. I don't remember the girls smiling so soon. I love that I can rub his little cheek and say Beckettttt and he looks right in my eyes and smiles. He has the cutest half smile a lot of the time, kind of like Elvis. Beckett likes to be really cozy. He actually does not like to be swaddled tho, which was new for us. He likes to sleep in his bag and then a blanket bag on top with socks on his feet and hands. He loves to sleep in his car seat or swing. He is the best baby in the car. He instantly stops crying and usually falls asleep the minute we start driving. He is so-so on the binkey; he will take it but doesn't LOVE it (like Brooklyn who is almost three and still obsessed). He has THE BEST hair, especially after a shower. The girls adore him beyond words. Lydia says hello Beckett non stop, she also trys to lay on him any chance she gets. Brooklyn loves to put the binky in his mouth or inform me he is crying. She is the cutest copying my words with phrases like; hey buddy, you are so cute! and its OK Beckett. This boy has stole my heart in a way I could have never imaged. Beckett, we love you so so so SO very much! 

^^i'm so in love. i don't know how i got so lucky in this life!

^^he looks like such a little blob in this picture. His first time at church! 

^^serious spiked hair 

^^his elvis half smile :)

^^his big sister is obsessed! 

^^tiny man cloths 

NORA'S LAST DAY

Nora's last day was May 4th.

Nora first moved in with us when Brooklyn was just six weeks old! She has become part of our family over the last almost three years. During my pregnancy with Beckett she expressed caring for three children was going to be too much. Although we felt sad, we understood. Caring for three children is really difficult for anyone (including me)! I loved having Nora live with us so she could help me in the evening after work; make dinner, clean the house, get the girls to bed. It was hard to juggle motherhood, household duties and a full time job after she moved out. 

I was so much sadder the day we said goodbye than I thought I would be. I actually cried! Having Nora leave felt like we were ending a huge chapter in our life. I had all these emotions thinking about the first time I met her in Arizona when I was working with Beacon, traveling the west coast, pregnant with Brooklyn. I thought about when we drove all the way up to Pittsburgh to pick her up from her aunt's house to come live with us. It made me think about all the lists I made her and all the pictures she sent me of Brooklyn as a baby. Really I was most sad because I feel like Brooklyn is almost a little kid now, not my little baby anymore. I also loved the feeling of being a newlywed and loved doting on just one baby, I loved being a new mom, I loved buying our first house and then renovating it. Nora was there through all of it so her leaving just feels like that whole chapter is ending. I am terrible with change, it always makes me sad. Now I am rambling. We do love Nora and we hope the very best for her future!

FEEDING BECKETT

I have the biggest love hate relationship with breastfeeding. I love it because its the best nutrition for my babies, there is a great bond during that time, its convenient and free. I hate it because it takes so long, its stressful and seems never ending. I struggled so much with my milk supply with both the girls. I stopped with Brooklyn when she was nine months and Lydia when she was six months. I was dreading the anxiety and stress of not having enough milk for the third go around.

Something kind of incredible happened with Beckett. He started as a really lazy, slow eater that would latch but not really eat. As soon as I got home from the hospital I knew these one hour feedings while taking care of two other toddlers was not going to be an option. Against the counsel of the lactation consultant I started to pump and feed Beckett from the bottle. The milk came out so fast, I could pump in 5 minutes and he had a full bottle plus some. If I have time I will hold him and feed him the bottle, if not I prop the bottle on a blanket and he just drinks it. My milk supply is so good from the pumping I usually give Lydia a few bottles too. Brooklyn has been on a milk strike the last several months but if she asks I give it to her as well. At first I thought it was kind of weird but its just a bottle of milk and they drink whole, reduced fat even soy milk so this isn't really different to them than just another option.

I do feel guilty sometimes when I see poor Beckett drinking his milk alone but its kind of a matter of survival with the other two girls to tend to as well. I make up for the lack of feeding because he likes to be held all the time. Any free moment I have I am cuddling him, especially at night when the girls go to bed Rob and I spoil him with attention.