I have the biggest love hate relationship with breastfeeding. I love it because its the best nutrition for my babies, there is a great bond during that time, its convenient and free. I hate it because it takes so long, its stressful and seems never ending. I struggled so much with my milk supply with both the girls. I stopped with Brooklyn when she was nine months and Lydia when she was six months. I was dreading the anxiety and stress of not having enough milk for the third go around.
Something kind of incredible happened with Beckett. He started as a really lazy, slow eater that would latch but not really eat. As soon as I got home from the hospital I knew these one hour feedings while taking care of two other toddlers was not going to be an option. Against the counsel of the lactation consultant I started to pump and feed Beckett from the bottle. The milk came out so fast, I could pump in 5 minutes and he had a full bottle plus some. If I have time I will hold him and feed him the bottle, if not I prop the bottle on a blanket and he just drinks it. My milk supply is so good from the pumping I usually give Lydia a few bottles too. Brooklyn has been on a milk strike the last several months but if she asks I give it to her as well. At first I thought it was kind of weird but its just a bottle of milk and they drink whole, reduced fat even soy milk so this isn't really different to them than just another option.
I do feel guilty sometimes when I see poor Beckett drinking his milk alone but its kind of a matter of survival with the other two girls to tend to as well. I make up for the lack of feeding because he likes to be held all the time. Any free moment I have I am cuddling him, especially at night when the girls go to bed Rob and I spoil him with attention.

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